Mary, age 42

I am no longer a teenaged girl. But I still fear them.
And I fear the people they have become...my peers...other moms.
I arrive at the parent's night at school.
And I still feel wrong.
Fat. Poor. Unstylish. Unconnected. An outsider.
Now I'm not only afraid of embarrassing myself...but much worse. A thousand times worse. I might not be good enough for my own daughter. So I hide these horrible fears the best I can. And shut my mouth. And tell her she is good.
But what does she really hear?

Ciera

Hunger
I've hungered for the day
when I'd be able to look in the mirror
and say I loved myself.
But that day never came,
and the grumblings never subsided
more...

Lauren

Well, I'm finally coming out. Sometimes, I just stand in front of the mirror, wishing I looked like that popular girl from my school, or the latest hollywood star. Or, I sit and daydream in school about the day when I will be SO stunningly gorgeous that all the guys will flock to me. And then I realized, with help from my mom and aunt, that this is the way I am. Done deal. And I swear to you, I AM beautiful.

Bobbi

As a high school student in small town Ohio early 1990's I really didn't know anything about gays and lesbians. I didn't understand why others seemed to understand so much around them that I didn't. In college, life started to make sense. I fell in love with a woman and we started the most wonderful life together. I only wish that there were easier ways to make sure that todays kids understand that they too will be okay.

Charmaine

It's been 12 years since I had an eating disorder. I am now a Registered Psychiatric Nurse and am living proof that an eating disorder does not have to be forever. I now have my voice back which was once drowned out by the negativity of a skewed body image and sense of self. I want young women to know that they can get better. I did. I now enjoy Pilates and Yoga which are centering and relaxing. It is entirely possible to enjoy exercise and not be obsessed with it. Good luck to all those struggling with body image issues. Please do not give up.

J.P., age 35

My mother glows now as she tells me during each visit of her Atkins weight loss. At 35, I still cringe and change the subject. Her talk of diets and weight forms the soundtrack of my childhood and young adulthood. Her preoccupation is just one of the many influences that have caused me to struggle with weight and body image in my life so far. more...

Katy, age 17

From the looks of it everything appeared to be fine. I mean I had a roof over my head, a mother who loved me and food in my stomach. In the inside it was another story. My father was an alcoholic. I've been living with this burden for my entire life. He would always tell me that things are going to be o.k. "I'm back to normal now". When I thought about it, there was no "normal" dad. This was the only one I ever knew. So how do you deal with and absent father? Anyway but this. more...

Gabriele Gossner, age 52

I am now amused when my mother relates the story of when, as a very young child, I simply stopped eating. Thinking that I was quite sick, my parents took me to the pediatrician, who also happened to be a professor of my dad's in medical school. He took one look at me, happy, rosy-cheeked, and diagnosed that I had been overfed and had had enough! Imagine my father's embarrassment at being found out by one of his mentors that he fed his daughter too much! more...

D. Ervin, age 18

Had i been a participant in this i could take credit for it all
i could say that i am all powerful in my tragedy.
That i martyred myself, he didn't martyr me.
i gave him my body; he didn't take anything from me. more...

Ashley M., age 18

A part of me I only I see ….

When asked to write about self -destruction, I never thought I would be able to do it. Having to admit to people that I was hurting myself was hard to do; it was even harder when I had to admit it to myself. My whole life has been nothing but pain and destruction so naturally I began to blame myself for what all went wrong in my life and I punished myself. more...

Jamie R., age 46 (Remembering poem she wrote in high school in celebration of her “A” cup bra size.)

Who wants all that flesh for bouncing around

Inch for inch and pound for pound?

Maybe big boobs are somebody’s bag,

But for me, less the boob, less the sag.


Kay, age 49

The year was 1969 when I turned 13. We ate dinner to the sounds and bloody sights of the Vietnam War on NBC. I was buying my first training bra (no wheels!), while thousands of women all over the country were burning theirs. I grew up with "Father Knows Best" and the "Donna Reed Show," when Germaine Greer and Gloria Steinem came along and informed us about the "Feminine Mystique." more...

Ann, age 50

I cannot ever remember NOT being fat. Chubby little girl grew to a fat teen and an obese adult. My peers were cruel, but my family more so. My twin brother (normal size in every way) tortured me. The words "big , fat , ugly pig "still echo in my mind on bad days. I was an embarrassment to my overly intellectual mother, who kept hoping I would "slim down" . She watched me, made special (terrible in the eyes of a 10 year old girl) foods for me, sent me to camps, left weight loss articles on my pillow . I fought back. more...

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